Friday 8 November 2013

Another Planet Narrative


There once was another earth that nobody knew about, this is the story about a person who lives in that other planet.


I am Una, I live on Planet. I have just discovered that there is another planet, which means that we aren't the only ones who are here in Space.
I have searched all I can in our Finding Search books. I’m only young so there is nothing I can really do. “Hello mum, I have some incredible news.” My mum’s name is Jupiter, we don’t have last names like the other planet which I don’t mind because I’m use to it.


“We don’t have time for this Una” I walk outside like we usually do, the moon is shining in the sunlight like it usually does. I wonder how it feels like to have a sun! Because the other Planet does.
It’s been a few days and I really can’t get Earth out of my mind.
“Earth is powerful.” I always say to Jupiter. She won’t believe me!


There now is a warning, saying that the world is going to end,
I wonder what will happen to us. I try not to worry myself so I say we are going to Earth.
Did you know that we some kind of bubble around us, were lucky that it’s see-through, all of us can always see space. Jupiter calls me in for food.


Now it’s night time, the whole world is shaking so I walk out and sit on the tree.
Planet is beautiful, I can see huge rocks coming towards us, (Planet only moves when that happens so I don’t mind) The moon is close up to us. I stare, I realize that me and Jupiter’s eyes are the same colour as the moon.


I have been here for a few days. I’m deciding to leave Planet and go to Earth but I can’t make my decision.  The moon is shining very hard that the water has turned it’s colour, (sometimes I think that the moon is going to kill us, me and Jupiter)
Suddenly I make my decision. I leave a note saying my farewells to Jupiter and head to the water.  It is very cold, the moon starts to reflect on myself.
I start to sink, my eyes gleam under the water as I swim.


FINALLY!
I’m at the end of Planet, I can just fit through the holes that the water comes through.
I fall, fear flows through my vein. Something is on moon putting a flag there.
Is that earth? I get very dizzy, the thing comes towards me.
NO! Planet is gone, where is it? The thing grabs me.
“NO!” I scream. I turn around and fall on a star. I grip hold onto it.


I run out of air, I resolve into dust.

My last words spit out. “Jupiter” the thing hears me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

One thing you could work on next time is putting speech marks on the people who talk in the story.

Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Chardonnay you have a good story I really like it it seems like a funny story gep it up

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